Friday, May 11, 2012

Oh what a night

Last night was one of those nights...

I have been on the pump for about 6 months now and since starting it, have gained almost 10 lbs.  I know my eating habits haven't changed drastically but nevertheless I seem to be packing on the pounds.  (Absorbing food better? Unwittingly eating more because of ease of boluses? who knows?)  I really noticed it last weekend when I went to a formal gala fundraiser and barely fit into a dress that was a little big on me last August.  Ugh.  Finding out clothes you haven't worn in a while will not fit unless you have Spanx on up to your armpits is the worst!  It finally hit home with me that I needed to do something about this weight gain.  Spanx can only do so much.  Ugh again. As if I didn't have enough to worry about.

I should also mention that I'm a vegetarian and have been since way before I became diabetic.  The struggle for me in being both a veggie and PWD is that without eating meat, it is very difficult for me to cut back on carbs.

But, anyway, I've been trying.  I went to the supermarket on Monday and stocked up on fresh veggies and fruit, and only low-ish carb bread like pumpernickel in hopes of cutting back on the amt of insulin bolus I need to see if that has any effect on my weight.. I've been so good all week.  I've also tried exercising more and started to go on "long runs" Hahahaha.  Long runs for me are 4 miles at the most.  But again, I've been trying.

Last night, I did NOT feel like running, but knew I really should.  It was 7:30 by the time we got out there, so we did a quick run (set a temp basal rate) and ending up eating around 9.   After the run I was in a baaaaaaaaaaadddddd moooood. I felt really frustrated about how much effort I had to put into the evening: running when I didn't feel like it, worrying about my weight, worrying about carbs, setting temp bolus rate, running with the pump, glucose tabs and meter bouncing all over the place, eating later...

I ate my tilapia (concession to D: I have started eating fish) and green beans and tiny half cob of corn in a wicked bad mood and went to bed.  I fell asleep fairly quickly, but after about 3 hours woke up with pains in my feet and hunger! I took some Motrin for the feet (they are not used to these long runs :-)) and tried to fall back asleep only to hear the low warning on my CGM go off.  ARGGGGHHH I am already in a bad mood!  Leave me alone!!! WTH!  I got up again, drank Gatorade and tried to sleep.  Guess the hunger I was feeling was a sign of a low coming on, but I thought I probably was actually hungry.  The CGM went off every hr or so saying I was low, but when I checked with the meter early in the morning, my BG was 227.

I repeat: ARGGGGHHH I am already in a bad mood! Leave me alone!!! WTH!  And why did I bother with that stinking low carb boring ass dinner when I woke up with high BG anyway?!!  ugh. disgust. frustration.  aggravation. As I said, it was one of those nights.

Thankfully, today was a lot better and the thought of the upcoming Diabetes Blog Week has cheered me up.  I got introduced to so many good blogs and its heartening to know that there are so many of us out there that can relate to "one of those nights." 

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