Diabetes Blog Week Day 5
Diabetes is relentless. That is what I'd like others to know. It never stops. It is not the kind of chronic disease for which you can take a pill in the morning for and forget for the rest of the day. A PWD can't forget it even for a minute. I could be fine one minute, and literally sweating, shaking and having a low the next. It may look like I only deal with my diabetes at meal time- you might see me with my meter or putting numbers into my pump. But, I am actually dealing with it ALL the time. Everything must be planned- what I eat, when I eat, where I'm going, what I'm bring with me.
A perfect example of this is the time Hubs and I went away for a long weekend a few years ago. I was pretty new to diabetes- probably had it for less than 2 years and I was on the flex pens for insulin. We were with a group of friends and had beautiful weather and a great day planned: watching a daffodil day parade, cycling out a picnic area for lunch and then having a big group dinner at a local restaurant. My DH (dear husband) got us bikes and was excited and ready to go.
Before we could even leave I remember asking him a hundred questions: Where are we going? How long is the ride? Who is bringing the picnic? What kind of food did they make? Should I bring my own food? Is it too hot to keep my insulin in the bike basket? What time is dinner? Are we cycling back? Where is the restaurant? Do I have enough snacks in case I go low? Are there any stores on route in case I need anything?... DH was very understanding, but I could tell he was surprised at the number and almost-frantic nature of my questions. I remember being close to tears because I felt so overwhelmed at managing the kind of day that is supposed to fun, spontaneous and relaxing. In the end, we had a pretty good day. We talked about all my questions and got stuff figured out but we were late getting to the picnic and I admit I felt a bit embarassed at my break down.
That experience shows the relentlessness of diabetes. What would be a fun easy day for most people left me in a cold sweat trying to think about manging exericse, picnics and dinner in a restaurant. I wish people could see and appreciate the constant planning, worry and thought process and guilt trips that we go through just to do regular every day things. As soon as I figured out that day on our long weekend trip, I had to get up and start it all over again the next morning....